When it comes to commitment, some men are notorious for wanting to run in the opposite direction. The Commitment Talk for these guys can be like the equivalent to discussing your gynecological workings with his parents at a dinner party. So how do you get him to have that talk with you and actually be the one who is proactive in wanting to take your relationship further?
To understand why men fear commitment, it’s important to look at how they perceive the act of committing themselves to another person as a negative. Many men see commitment as the screeching halt to their freedom. If they have been in a particularly demanding relationship before where they were robbed of any personal space and or free time, your chances of getting him to change his mind and relinquish his freedom are going to be fairly slim. If he has witnessed friends who are in suffocating relationships, grown up in a family where his father was unable to have his own time, then you are going to have your work cut out for you in changing this guys mind.
This is where you need to evaluate what exactly it is that you are wanting form your man. If you are needing someone to fill some void in your life and become your everything that fills your life completely, you are placing too much pressure on your man. If you aren’t able to have the void filled through your own healing or self belief, it is terribly unfair to expect a man to be responsible for doing so. If you have insecurities that need to be addressed, but you believe will be quelled with the presence of a partner, again, this is too big an ask for any man. These are short comings in your own personality and self. It is unfair and also a largely unsuccessful request to have any man placate those voids.
So what can be done to get your man to commit? Having your life as together as you possibly can get it BEFORE you try to build a life with someone else, will have you sitting in a perfect position for any man to commit to you. You don’t have to have accomplished every single lifetime goal you have set for yourself, you just need to be ok with yourself if you achieve these things BY YOURSELF. If you can portray to a man that you are capable and content with life on your own, then he is far more likely to want to share in that wonderful aura you are radiating. If you show him that you are weak and insecure, cant make decisions or accomplish a single goal on your own you are portraying yourself as being a burden and an anchor to anything he may wish for himself.
If you have enough in your life that another person can only compliment what you have going on, then you are far more attractive to a man than the woman who needs a man to distract her from her own shortcomings. No man wants the weight on his shoulders of having to be absolutely everything to his woman. This is a sure fire way to strangle any last gasps of his personal freedom out of him.
He wants what any normal person entering a relationship wants. He wants to know that you have your own hobbies and interests, your own circle of friends and your own personal goals and objectives. He also wants to know that you have shared interests and friends with him and you are also able to spend valuable one on one time with him. You each need to have a life and continue the lives that you had prior to meeting each other, if you are to successfully and happily begin a shared future together.
And I guess that’s exactly where the most important rule is in getting your man to commit. Giving your man his freedom will have him wanting to commit to you. It’s not in “making” someone commit by demanding they plug all your voids with their presence. It’s also not about making him cease all interests and hobbies that he had before you came along. It’s not about making him do anything, actually. It’s about SHARING. You have to share your time with him, he has to do the same for you. If you are controlling who he sees, what he sees and when he does so, you have missed the point entirely. you know the saying “If you love something, set it free..” Nothing could be more true when it comes to a man who has trouble committing. Give him his freedom and be confident in your self, and watch him want to be with you.
If you still think that you need some pointers on how to get your partner to commit, without the use of gynecology, I strongly urge you to visit my website below.
To learn more click Connect and Commit and learn how to get your partner to genuinely and deeply commit to your relationship. Learn how to avoid the common mistakes so many people make that can only leave your partner running for the hills.
Piper S. McKenzie is a relationship and Dating mentor. She has been writing about making intimate human connections for over a decade. Learn more at her Winning Relationships website.
