Is it really possible to have well behaved children? On a daily basis I come across kids who are screaming, hitting siblings, back-talking grown-ups, throwing hissy fits and embarrassing not only their parents, but anyone around to witness this atrocious behavior.
Of course, you might have one or more little terrors of your own, who tear through your house like a tornado while you are attempting to do research on how to raise them to be productive, helpful adults.
I’m sure you have seen children who are quiet, have great self-control and are even helpful without being prompted. Are some kids just born that way?Could it be the luck of the draw, or is there a proven method for bringing up children that are a pleasure to be around?
Because child behavior is an important topic to me as a parent, I decided to do some research on the subject. It turns out that there is a LOT of advice out there but that most of it is hard to follow or just bad.
Some “professional” experts will advise you to just ignore any out of control behavior and let your child learn that it gets no reaction from you. This is terrible advice and I would bet that these therapists don’t have kids of their own! If you were ever told this, ignore it. If you listened and tried it, you already know that it doesn’t work.
Medicating children is another widely used method for eliminating bad behavior . In these cases, there is always a medical professional involved, since it’s impossible to get the drugs without a prescription. For a long-term solution to child behavior issues, drugs are not the answer. They may cover up the problem for now but can lead to far worse issues in the future.
There are of course other strategies in use for getting the kids under control. For example, there are complicated systems that the kids don’t understand or won’t follow, attitude adjustment boot camps and years of costly therapy. And don’t forget that old standby: begging and bribing!
Pretty depressing, isn’t it? That’s what I thought too, but I did find a few people who had consistently raised several well-mannered, helpful children. Several of them mentioned learning from a Mom in Georgia, so I decided to contact her. She responded to my e-mail and I was able to learn how she became the “Behavior Repair Lady”.
Her name is Gail and she was the mother of three disrespectful, tantrum-throwing, eye-rolling children. Despite following many experts’ advice, she was not getting any results. She needed a system that would be easy to understand and follow, and it had to work FAST. (Did I mention she was desperate?)
Almost by accident, she finally discovered a method that got results. She found that her kids were fully able to grasp the concept of actions and consequences if it was taught and demonstrated correctly. She developed a system based on this and used it on her children. What happened? The kids were well-mannered, polite and respectful after only two weeks!
Since other people noticed a dramatic difference in her kids – she could actually take them places now – Gail got lots of questions and pleas for help from other parents. Every family she coached got results just like she got in a matter of weeks! Before long, it became impossible to personally help all the people who asked for it, so now there’s a video about her child behavior repair method online.
The bottom line? Learn from successful parents. Not “experts”, unless they are also successful parents. And don’t give up!
