Considering the divorce rate these days (1 out of 2 marriages end up with divorce), I can't help but think that people "recite" those "vows" as just empty words. Do wedding vows mean anything? Think of what a "vow" is by definition: "a solemn promise, pledge, or personal commitment."
What say you?
Suggestion:
Yes, there're people out there who place value on their wedding vows, and I personally place great value on my own wedding vows.
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Marriage is like a roller coaster ride and sometimes it can be a ferris wheel nice and gentle. You have to deal with the roller coaster and enjoy when it is a ferris wheel. No matter who you marry you will go through this stage of trial and obstacles together as one and if you can succeed that then you can succeed anything.
Obviously most people do not…although I am in the 50% that do.
I take them very seriously. The only way I would break my vows is if he broke his first. The only way I would get a divorce is if he cheated, or became abusive. Or if he wants out because he wants to cheat. Otherwise. I will stay with him until the end. I meant what I said.
Rather sad isn't it.
vows to me mean what I say. when I say them .. maybe that's why i waited till i'm 30 to get married.
or maybe it took that long to find my partner. either way i can't waste those words. and I'm willing to put forth the effort to make it work when it does go down hill.
Sure do, as long as it is respected in return. Deal breakers are cheating, addictions not put in check, crime and smoking. I don't have to worry about those because I married late and have known my husband a long time.
yes your observation is so agreeable. u r right
Wedding vows mean a lot to me and I wish more people took commitment seriously.
People usually mean it at the time, but life throws us curve balls. Turns out that a lot of people don't have the tools to cope.
You see, we're in the middle of a paradigm shift, between traditional marriage where men call all the shots and women have few choices, to modern marriage where men and women are equal. Marriage was not designed originally with the idea that women would ever have power socially or financially. Marriage was designed believing that women would always be dependent on men, because women would never provide for themselves, and that begetting children was the main goal of marriage.
Today, the main goal of marriage is much, MUCH higher. Namely, happiness, fulfillment, companionship until death. Children are seen as a "lifestyle choice," which in our modern world are liabilities rather than assets (since children aren't allowed to work). So expectations about marriage are astronomical compared to what they used to be.
Furthermore, since men and women are becoming more equal (about 30% of women earn as much or more as their husbands), the power balance is changing. No more do men call the shots in marriage. Now women expect to have their voices heard… even women who define themselves as "old-fashioned." Negotiation power between equals will always be harder than having one leader and one follower.
Thus, for a marriage to survive these days, couples need tools in their relationships that 100 years ago just weren't necessary. One of the most crucial is strong communication. Ever seen those couples who seem to just talk AT each other rather than TO each other, and then you're not surprised when they get divorced? Well, there's one example of the problem right there. Until it becomes the norm in our society to have good, constructive communication between married partners, marriage as an institution will continue to struggle.
But I will add that while fewer marriages last until death these days, I'd bet my last cent that more of them are happy.