If you’re someone who’d like to have children one day, and most women fall into that category, then to put it bluntly – you only have a limited amount of time to fulfil that dream. Granted, there are many ways of extending that finite period through IVF or fertility drugs, but the fact remains that a woman in love has a more urgent need to know if her partner is really serious about making a life together. The problem is – wishing and hoping something is true can sometimes blur the ability to see the real picture.
This applies particularly to promises and sweet nothings. Unfortunately a verbal reassurance is the last thing you can rely on. There’s an old Chinese saying ‘Talk does not cook rice’ and this is never truer than in a relationship. Far more telling are his actions towards you.
Does he want to move in together….now? You may have discussed it and there could be reasons why sharing a home isn’t suitable at the moment, but if the idea is constantly postponed or seems problematic, then there is probably unconscious resistance on his part that could indicate a reluctance to move ahead and make a life with you.
Another thing to look out for lies beyond the fact that you get on well and have a great time together. Ask yourself honestly if he values time with you over and above his job or time with his friends or other pastimes. Of course you shouldn’t be joined at the hip on a daily basis but if you feel he is often making ‘good’ excuses about where he has to be then alarm bells should be ringing. The last thing you want to be is a backup option in your man’s emotional world. If you aren’t number one now, then you never will be.
Does he talk about the future without being prompted? You might be able to force him to discuss sensitive topics, but he will feel backed into a corner and may not reveal his true feelings. If he starts talking about one of the three M’s (marriage, a mortgage, and making babies) even in a semi joking way, then this could be his way of sounding you out and showing you he is serious.
Of course relationships are not a science and if you are truly confused or frustrated, try giving the relationship a mental deadline in your head. This is certainly appropriate if you have been together for several years without any indication of commitment. If you are prepared to walk away once the deadline arrives, then your partner will have to show his hand. You could end up with a passionate proposal, or failing that, a chance to leave a dead-end relationship and get on with your life.
You can read more in-depth relationship articles and other related material HERE.
You must log in to post a comment.