Finding Love After 30 Vs Finding Love After 40

Yes, countries are starving, flooding, fighting and financially struggling and these are all major issues on a global level. But in the hearts and minds of millions of women (and men), finding love after 30 and finding love after 40 might just be one of our biggest personal dilemmas of our decade. We think we are so unique and yet, we all want to be healthy, we all want to be financially comfortable and we all want to be loved. It seems we’re not so different from one another after all. But, just to be sure, I’ve written 2 lists that highlight what women are looking for in our search to find love after 30 and find love after 40, because clearly we are looking for very different factors within this 10 year span. Yes, of course there is overlap between the two groups. After all, we are women… we vacillate.

Finding Love After 30

You might still want children

You might even have 1 or 2 young children

You might want someone who loves children

You’re absolutely fine if he has children (even better if they’re the same age as yours)

You want someone who has an honest job and a regular pay check

You want someone who is ambitious

You want someone who has a nice relationship with his parents

You want someone who isn’t living with his parents

You want someone who eventually wants to live with you

You want to share your space

Your body is still “pretty good”

You want a man who is in “pretty good” shape

You want him to be physically active

You still like going out “on the town”

You want someone who likes to go out between Thursday and Saturday, even midweek for dinner

You don’t mind if he has 1 ex wife

You’re okay if he has a few quirks

You have similar religious beliefs and if not, you’re open to any differences

You want someone who communicates for hours, even if it’s about his past.

You want your friends to meet him

You want to meet his friends

You want to be more than just a friend

You want someone who is loyal

You want someone who is single

You want someone who will love you like your daddy did (or didn’t) or does…

You want someone to take care of you like your daddy did (or didn’t) or does…

You want someone who wants you in his arms all night long

You want someone who wakes you in your sleep…

You still enjoy sex

You still believe in soul mates

You still believe in romance

You want to be his wife

Finding Love After 40

You don’t want children

You don’t want to co-parent someone else’s children

You don’t want him to co-parent yours either (you’ve managed for this long)

You want someone who has no baggage, no issues, no nagging ex’s & no dependents (not even on alternating weekends)

You want someone who is financially comfortable… okay, rich.

You want someone who has an RRSP, a Pension and sound investments

You want someone who appreciates travel, fine dining and Tivo

You want someone who could easily provide for his parents

You want someone who owns a home… maybe, multiple homes

You don’t want him to sell his homes

You want someone who understands you need to keep your space

You don’t discuss religious beliefs with him, except on the first date for clarification

You want someone who can listen (not necessarily talk and rarely disagrees)

You do not want him to tell you about his past.

You don’t need to meet his friends

You don’t need him to meet your friends

You’re just happy that his has friends

You want him to care enough about his health but not to obsess

You want him to love your shape

You’re fine with his body as long as it’s not a pear shape

Your idea of being physically active is a brisk walk after ordering in Chinese

You want him to look “older” then you but not too old

Your idea of going out on the town… is never too far or for too long and always casual

Your idea of a good time on a Saturday night is a new release video and a bag of kettle corn

You don’t need to be taken care of (and you’re not interested in being his care taker)

Your idea of a good partner in bed is someone who doesn’t snore, cuddles for 2 minutes & lets you sleep

You don’t really understand the need for Viagra

You don’t believe in soul mates

You don’t believe in Valentines

You don’t trust romantic gestures

You know when you are being swooned and tolerate it to get to the real stuff

You know what the real stuff is

You want someone who doesn’t remind you of any man you have ever met (fathers and ex’s included)

You want someone to love you like no one ever has… and in every type of light

You don’t need to get married

You want a good friend, for life.

Shari Jonas graduated from McGill University with degrees in Psychology, Human Relations and Family Life Education. She’s the author of “Father Effects: How Your Father Influenced Who You Are and Who You Love” and the newly released “Father Daughter Effects Workshop”. Her personal journey with her own father daughter issues, combined with years of research on this most important relationship is an inspiration to all women who want to understand their father’s influence and break negative relationship patterns. While quantities last, the book is available at http://www.fatherdaughtereffects.com. Or simply, read the first chapter for Free. Shari welcomes your comments and questions at: http://www.fatherdaughtereffects.blogspot.com.