A lack of communication causes many break ups to occur. Not talking, not listening, not sharing about things important to the both of you can strangle the intimacy. People often end relationships because of bad communication.
If this was involved in ending your relationship, there are some things you can do to get your ex back. You need to demonstrate that you can be a good listener and communicator.
Being a good communicator isn’t hard. One way to begin is to call your ex and open up to them. Tell them how not being with them makes you feel. Tell them what it feels like to you in your heart to be without them. Be open and vulnerable. This can open up their heart to you.
The next thing to practice to get your ex back is to be a good listener. One way to do this is to ask them questions about how they feel, and get them to open up to you. You might say something like how do you feel about how I treated you?
One way to be a good listener is to be quiet. So ask a question then shut up. Be okay with some silence. Let your ex take all the time they want to consider their feelings and start to share them with you.
Aim to be a good listener and make your ex feel heard and understood. Say things like “I’m following you, please continue…” Then your ex may really open up, which can be crucial to getting them back with you.
Another important listening skill is to not justify or defend yourself while your ex is telling you how you made them feel. Don’t argue, attack, or defend. Listen until they are done, make them feel heard, and at the end, if appropriate, apologize for any way you wronged your mate.
There is more to being a great communicator. But just starting with these few things can begin to turn things around. Your ex may see you in a new light, as someone interested in them and willing to listen. This can soften their heart.
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