If this sounds like you, then pay close attention to what I’m about to tell you. Before you can even think about saving your marriage, you need to lay the groundwork. These 5 points will help you do just that.
1. Make a list of reasons you want him back. Write down everything that comes into your head, and read it over with a friend that you trust. Ask them to help you spot any non-reasons…like fear of being alone, or shame about being divorced. You need to be sure that you want him back because he’s the right man for you and you love him, and you have something worth saving.
2. Take a reality check. While most relationships can be repaired, it can only happen if you’re honest about your role in what spurred the breakup. Even if you’re angry with him, take stock of what you did to contribute to the rift. And decide if you can forgive him for his actions as well. If you can’t let what happened go, it’ll follow you right back into your relationship.
3. Put a lid on the emotional stuff. By all means, let it out…but when you’re alone, or with supportive friends. If you see him or contact him, you need to stay controlled. Friendly, of course, but controlled. If you can’t talk to him without breaking down, then it’s better not to talk to him at all until you’re feeling more stable.
4. Keep on living. Even though you may not feel like it, keep up with your appearance and social life. Try some new things, like taking a class or doing new activities with your friends. Show your ex (and yourself) that you’re mature about the breakup, and that even though you miss him, you’re still living your life to the fullest.
While this isn’t some dirty trick, it does have a psychological effect on him. When you’re not in constant contact with him and out doing your own thing, it makes him think about you…what you’re doing, where you’re going, how you’re feeling. He gets the chance to miss you, and chances are he’ll pick up the phone and want to talk.
5. When he contacts you, keep it friendly but brief (you’re busy, remember?) No emotional stuff. If he wants to get together, great! Look fantastic, and be friendly and open but aloof. Other than maybe a hug when you leave, don’t get all touchy with each other. Let him make the move to get back together…don’t initiate anything with him at this point. Let him start wanting you again.
When you take care of yourself first, you have a much greater chance of saving your marriage. Do these 5 things and you’ll be well on your way.
You may be asking “But once I get my ex husband back, can we recapture the romance we had when our marriage was new?” Yes, you can…IF you know the powerful Pattern Breaking technique. Find out what it is, how to use it and more at http://SecondChanceAtLove.info
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