As teens, emotions and hormones are running wild. A day seems like forever and a month seems like an eternity. So, you are dating a guy and you want to know when it’s time to take the next step. When is the right time to have sex? You’ve been dating for two months now and it seems like you have been going out for eternity. Should you be consummating the relationship by now?
Things you need to consider before giving that part of yourself away.
Number 1: Sex changes things. It changes your relationship from one of getting to know each other to having known one another in a very intimate and mature way. The question you need to ask yourself first is, “How well do I really know myself?” “Do I want this person to know this much about me?”
Number 2: Sex has its consequences. Pregnancy is a common result of unprotected sex. Are you ready to have a relationship with this person for the lifetime of the child you may create together? Sexually transmitted diseases also accompany unprotected sex. But don’t let birth control pills or condoms fool you into thinking sex is safe. Other drugs can interfere with birth control pills and pregnancy can still occur. And even if the condom doesn’t tear, there are still STDs that are smaller than the pores on a condom and can travel right through. Not to mention the psychological effects of exposing yourself to someone you don’t totally know and trust.
Number 3: Sex may be all “he’s” after. For some guys who are competitive in nature, all they are after in a relationship is the “kill.” He will date a girl and pressure her until she gives in and gives herself away to the guy. Then the guy leaves or breaks up with her because he got what he was after.
Number 4: What you have is precious and should be saved for the one you have committed your life to. What a perfect gift to give to your spouse on your wedding night. Think about it, no history, no disease, nothing to live up to, both of you learning each other in a very intimate setting with the person you totally trust to expose your very being to. What could be more special than that?
How do you know when you are ready for sex? When you totally trust the person you are with to give not just your sex to them, but your very being. When you see your future family in their eyes, and they see the same picture, then you’ll know. For some of you, that may come earlier than others. For some of you, it won’t be for many years. But it is worth the wait.
Jan Sullivan
AprilWord
Jan Sullivan received a Masters Degree in Youth Ministry from Asbury Theological Seminary. She served as a youth pastor for thirteen years in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. She published her first book, Forever Family, in July 2008. Her second, Never Alone, was published in August 2009. She lives in Lexington, Kentucky with her dog Abby and spends her time loving teenagers and consuming Christian fiction. Modeling her life after Christ, the great storyteller, Jan hopes that her stories will lead young people to make decisions to follow Christ.
You must log in to post a comment.