Being rejected is something that most of us take very personally. Let’s face it, when someone says “no, you didn’t get the job” or “no, I don’t want to go out with you”, it hurts! Not to mention the blow to our egos.
Interestingly enough, in most cases it’s not the actual rejection itself that causes us to freeze; it’s the fear of failure. The very thought that someone could turn us down, thereby failing, is often cause enough to not even try.
If you’ve ever found yourself unable to do something you really want to do such as asking that good looking guy or gal out, taking up a new sport, losing weight or quitting smoking because you’re afraid of failure, you’re letting your fear rule your life. And that fear is preventing you from attempting to do anything different. You’re scaring yourself into a rut.
You can take care of yourself, right? So the first step in conquering your fear of rejection is to stop scaring yourself! Gaining control of the thoughts that lead up to the fear of rejection is really nothing more than mental pep talk.
Examine your fears to see it if they’re based on what others think of you or what you think of yourself. If you’re allowing others’ view of you to control your actions, or rather your inaction, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If your imagine of yourself is immune to what others think of you, you’ll be far less likely to let fear of rejection stop you from pursuing your dreams.
Look at how you handle actual rejection. Does it throw you into a weeklong funk and does it have you snarling at the people you love? Then it’s time to change your attitude. Looking at rejection as a form of constructive criticism will help you narrow down what works and what doesn’t.
Even if you don’t succeed, give yourself credit for trying! You faced your fear or rejection and asked someone out on a date, or maybe you applied for that dream job. Good for you!
Once you have your fear of rejection under control there is of course no guarantee that you’ll never experience rejection again. You will; it’s part of life. The difference now is that you’ll know how to cope with it.
