Before a relationship can be saved, you have to decide if it’s worth saving. Most can be saved if both parties involved decide to put in the hard work sometimes required. If, however, one of the people involved isn’t dedicated to saving it, there isn’t much you can do.
One of the biggest challenges with how to save a relationship is that both parties involved have to decide that it’s worth saving. Too many people you see every day stay in relationships because of convenience or stick with a marriage because of the kids. This just isn’t enough. You both have to agree that it should be saved.
One problem with how to save a relationship is that people falsely believe that the symptoms of the problems are the problems themselves. That’s why the next step you need to take is to zone in on the problem or problems in the relationship.
An affair is something that often causes break ups, and most people see it as the problem, but more often than not, the affair is the symptom of the true problem. For example, a lack of true intimacy could be the actual problem. Most of us would look at the situation and say the affair caused the break up, but in actuality it was the symptom of the problem and intimacy was the core problem. If you aren’t able to deal with the real problem, you will be in trouble. You may be able to stop another affair with guilt, but another problem, like pornography addiction, may arise in it’s place.
You can only save the relationship when you deal with the core issues, rather than the symptoms.
Once the core issues have been identified, you can take a moment and speak your feelings to your partner. Allow them to do the same and hold your partner’s hand while listening to their feelings as a way to show them you want to reconnect even if you are emotional. If your partner talks about something that hurts you, try to remember that they aren’t doing it to hurt you purposefully, but are doing it because they want to improve the relationship.
If your biggest problem is that you don’t spend time together like you used to, schedule a weekend getaway or set up a weekly date night, even if it’s Wednesday. The two of you can take turns thinking of different fun ways to spend the evening together.
If the problem facing your relationship is that you don’t communicate with each other enough, plan out 20 minutes before bed where it is just the two of you. Turn off the TV, computer, and silence your phone. Just take some time and talk, just the two of you. Don’t just schedule it, do it.
Lastly, you have to realize that this is often a long process and will be filled with laughter as well as tears. You may take two steps forward and one step back. Just be sure to be slow to place blame and quick to apologize.
Is the relationship your struggling with worth saving? I hope it is, and if you think so, follow the advice given in this article and be committed to it.
Want to find out more about How To Save Your Relationship, then visit Paul ‘PJ’ Jackson’s site and discover if you can Save Your Relationship or if it is doomed.
