We just announced all this the other day to my fiance's family. They didn't say much. Yesterday, my fiance's sister wrote him an email saying that they (her, his mom, and his dad) would not be able to afford to go with us. And then she said that he was her only brother and that it would break her heart if she didn't get to see him get married. She said she would like to be part of the wedding and it was a really big deal. She also said that she doesn't understand why we can't have the wedding here and save Jamaica for the honeymoon.
We've both agreed that this isn't just her talking. That this is mostly his dad. So it's more of a family issue. The problem is that while his family is fairly small, my family is HUGE. And they all live here, and are pretty close to me. Truly none of them really care about us running off to get married, but if we had the wedding here, I can guarantee there would be problems if I was selective in who comes. My family is just like that. But truly, my fiance wants to have a wedding even less than I do. And I don't want to ask my family or his family to pay for our wedding. I'm pretty sure mine won't nor can afford to. On one hand I'm very annoyed that they don't realize that this is about us and our special day. And on the other, I feel like I'm taking their only son's wedding away from them. BAD DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. I really don't want to start our family out like this but I want to have my way too.
Suggestion:
you and your fiance should confirm what you want. Just you and him. Then when you've made your decision, he should be the one to break it to his family with conviction as if it were his own decision. it's his family. His responsibility. If you turned the tables, would you want your fiance defending himself & the wedding that you both want to your own parents? Or would you stand up to your family yourself.
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Personally, I don't feel anyone should assume they should attend your wedding, no matter how close they are. The wedding is a union of you and your future spouse and you don't have to invite anyone. They should be happy and supportive of your union whether invited to attend or not (and they were invited). Of course, this could cause you some problems, as you've seen, but hopefully those go away in a short period of time. You might be able to minimize any problems by keeping up communication and expressing this is what you and he really want. Have fun on your wedding/honeymoon trip!
they assumed all his life they would be at his wedding, my 2 cents is i would never trust anyone in jamaica to pull off my wedding. i wouldn't even go there, but if you want to go–save it for the honeymoon. if its important for him to have a wedding then most likely he does want them around.
You said the key word it's not about them it's about you and your fiance .It's your day something you will have to remember for the rest of your life,Sorry but they would just have to get over it and enjoy the party you plan to have later..
It is your wedding so if you really want a destination wedding then they can't really do much but they will always hold it against you. Its not right but they will. If you can live with that then go ahead if that will bother you then you will have to figure out how to have a wedding they can attend.
A marriage is not about a wedding but about a new life. And like you said, do you want to start out your new family this way? I think you know what to do. That may involve waiting maybe another year to save up money. Or, I'm sure there are cost-effective ways to have a wedding. For example, having a wedding at an unexpected venue, such as a rented house.