Relationship Communication Problems
Let your speech be always full of grace, seasoned with salt. Make this skill automatic and you will find that you build instant rapport with people-including strangers. Remember that people like people who are like them. Now, I am not saying be some way other than who you are permanently. I am saying begin the connection by meeting them exactly where they are in that moment-mood wise.
Be direct.
Being direct is probably the most difficult of all these guidelines. Too often we tiptoe around an issue and don’t say exactly what we mean. This doesn’t mean you should “just be honest.” We sometimes use honesty as an excuse to be mean. At the same time it’s important that you get to the point. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that being direct is offensive; it isn’t, if your intention is one of compassion and respect. A great way to be direct is to take responsibility for your choices and thoughts. Rather than saying, “I don’t think what you’re doing is right,” say, “I want you to stop what you’ve been doing.” In the first statement you place the responsibility on morality – right and wrong; in the second statement you take the responsibility yourself – “This is what I want.”
When I worked as a psychotherapist, I always thanked my clients for sharing with me. One day this young girl said to me, “What do you mean you learned something from me? Nobody has every learned anything from me in my whole life.” And I thought, “Gee whiz! What kind of commentary is that? If you listen to somebody and you are there in the conversation at 100%, how could you not learn something about life from that other person’s sharing?”
So, gift yourself while you gift the other person with your presence as an eager listener. Your world will expand and grow. And you know what else? You will also feel really good because of the gift you gave somebody.
What rewards will you reap? You will enjoy the most fantastic, most solid, most dependable relationships that you ever could have imagined
Resource Author Francisco Rodriguez Higueras
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