All of our major milestones (justice-of-the-peace marriage, pregnancy & delivery of each of our two babies) were done 1800+ miles away from all of our family and friends (hubby is military) so we never had a wedding NOR a baby shower for either child. Essentially, we've had nothing and gotten nothing (nor have we ever asked). We bought our house and didn't have a housewarming celebration either. Again, we've never asked anyone for anything.
But now that we're back where our family and friends are, and approaching several milestones next year (we're both turning 30, celebrating 15 years of being together and 10 years of marriage, as well as hubby's return from his 3rd, year-long tour to the Middle East), I am wondering if an actual wedding & gift registry would still be in "poor" taste?
I don't "expect" gifts by any means, and don't plan to complicate things by having attendants & all that… nor would I ever actually "advertise" the registry! Yikes! But we're moving into the 12-month time frame for the wedding/vow renewal date and I'm trying to get a game plan together so we can get the ball rolling. We honestly need the same things any "newly wed" couple would need (towels, dishes, pots/pans, silverware, curtains, bedding, etc.) but can certainly continue to do without if people would have a hissy fit over it.
Thoughts?
Suggestion:
Maybe on the invitation you could mention a little of what you said here. Something like, "Now that we've settled down closer to home, we'd like to have the celebration of love we've always dreamed of" or "Now that we're closer to home, we'd like to have the wedding ceremony we've always longed for. A celebration of love among family and friends"
As far as the registry, I see nothing wrong with it. And I see nothing wrong with a little note letting people know about the registry either. "For your convenience, we're registered at Macys" Just think of it from the other people's prospective. If someone you loved and cared about sent you an invitation to something similar and they were putting on a party/dinner thing, YOU would bring a gift! Now, wouldn't it be easier if you knew what they wanted???
If, however, some of the people have sent you wedding gifts/ baby shower gifts, etc., I'd leave the registry note out of their invite but put it in everyone else's.
Hope that helped a little!
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I think in this case it will be fine, I get where you are coming from there is nothing wrong with this. I would just give this advice be sure that it is resonably priced items, and from places where people are known to shop. That odd shop downtown where a shirt cost $89 is going to make people go HUH?? Also another thought would be to put in the invitation how you didn't get to have your first wedding with family and friends but now you dearly wish to or something like that to remind people that you didn't get to do this at your first time around so you are ok to do it now! And don't worry if anyone wants to get there panties in a bunch I promise it will blow over in less than a month.
I'm not sure what the Emily Post etiquette of that is but what good would it do if you don't tell anyone about it? How many guests are you having? If it's just a small number of people then a registry seems silly.
I think go for it. Its not a 'do-over', its renewing your vows, its romantic and shows you still love each other so much after all your years of marriage. Why not? Sometimes you need to do things to make yourself happy, at the end of the day you can never please everyone, its impossible. All I would say is word your invites in a manner that shows you want a celebration/renewing your vows event to mark a very amazing milestone in your life. If people don't want to go, then those are the people you dont really want to go anyway, if you know what I mean.
You write: I am wondering if an actual wedding & gift registry would still be in "poor" taste?
Yes. The answer is yes.
If folks want to get you something, they will. They may even ask for suggestions. If they do ask, then it is fine to mention something you need.
But to register? No. Sorry, but that is inappropriate for a vow renewal.