If you have had a break-up, you’re probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or the way to win back lost love. Neither is so easy, but most of the fall to one or the other, with only only a few in a position to move on quickly without pining or wishing things might be different. You should actually think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. Attempt and be as unprejudiced as you can. You may decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea.
If you decide to try and win back lost love, the first step is to say sorry. You might think you have done this. You may have said you were sorry many times. But if your ex thought you were saying sorry solely to stop a break-up, he or she would not believe the apology was sincere.
If you were the one that did something that you need to apologize for, say sorry again. Now they’d believe the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has stopped, you will not be announcing it only to reserve it but they’ll believe that you truly mean it. ( And hopefully, you do. )
When your ex was the one that did something worth saying sorry for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You can never forget, particularly if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to pardon. Forgiving is much tougher for some of us than just announcing, “I excuse you,” though , so you may want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to actually mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.
If you do succeed and you win back lost love, three or six or 9 months into the just patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you have not forgiven the person for whatever was done to smash up the relationship, then you might have a tough time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said.
But if you can actually excuse the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past. While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever occurred to cause the break up, excuse them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself plenty of grief down the line.
Also, to win back lost love, show the person the “you” they fell in love with, not the “you” which has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities-kindness, thoughtfulness-not because you are indignant, envious or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best “you” you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.
