Once a common arrangement, the nuclear family is rarely seen in modern times, as it appears the institution of marriage itself is unstable. The idea that 50% of marriages today wind up splitting is an unconfirmed myth. Though the statistic is not necessarily true, there is a lot to be said about the stability of marriage when the general population finds that statistic believable.
Voltaire once said, “Divorce probably dates from the same time as marriage. I think, though, that marriage is a few weeks older.” When we think about our past, the couples had no desire to separate because they were religiously and legally obligated. And we remember that marriage was once a bond broken only by death that couples stayed together. Voltaire exposes some dominant cynicism about the binds of marriage and the capacity for human commitment.
Failing marriages aren’t only a recent trend – not by any means. Ancient Greece could legally separate if the party seeking the separation had a reasonable explanation as to why the marriage couldn’t work. They would then submit their statement to a magistrate who would determine whether or not the reasons were substantial enough to end the marriage. Elements of the Grecian process still exist, including fault/no fault statements.
If the option of separation is available, do you think the couple will stay together? According to current data, most couples divorce after between four and seven years, even more prior to the 15th. Younger couples and people on their second or third marriages tend to break their bonds sooner than the national average.
Perhaps these young couples and others are seeking solutions to problems and they believe that divorce is the answer. Some believe that once they can do that they want, they will live happier lives after divorce. However, many find the process painful and eventually discover that their problems have followed them outside of their marriage.
The end of a marriage has a negative effect on both men and women the majority of the time. Even the party who initiates the separation can become severely depressed following the breakdown of a marriage. Some become depressed because they realize that the perfect partner is just a fantasy. Women who divorce after turning 30 find that dating is intimidating and overwhelming and because of this, forty percent do not remarry.
Zsa Zsa Gabor said, “I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get divorced, I keep the house!” The majority of us still regard marriage seriously, in spite of the idea of a marital union as something that can be easily tossed aside. The breakdown of marriage scares people because it seems to be more the rule than the exception. But, this is simply not true. It is certainly more prominent now than it ever was, yet somehow it is still looked down upon as a failure of the couple. Sometimes a marriage simply is no longer healthy and for the sanity of the people involved, it has to end.
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